It’s happened to all of us. At least once. By the time we are young women, we’ve all had it happen: He stands out in a crowd. You enjoy almost everything about him. His sudden presence gives you butterflies. You desire to know his preferences, his dislikes, his opinion. You didn’t plan it, but every time he’s there, you find yourself talking to him or being near him, and when that wasn’t an option, you were talking about him.
As Christians with high moral standards, it’s easy to wonder at ourselves after experiencing these feelings. Where in the world did our common sense go? Don’t we know better than this? And we end up apologizing to God, making commitments or resolutions, reprimanding our lustful flesh, and failing the very next time we come in contact with the guy. And so begins the bang-your-head-against-the-wall-routine.
“True love doesn’t have to be void of these emotions…”
It’s inevitable to have these “moments” come up sometimes. You look up and he’s smiling at you. He walks into the room and you get butterflies. You notice when he compliments you. You like him and it’s just a plain fact. Nothing in the world could change it.
Love doesn’t deny the existence of these real feelings. True love doesn’t have to be void of these emotions before it can be true love. But we have to realize that emotions and feelings in-and-of -themselves are NOT love. They are feelings, and emotions. (Profound, I know!). And if we accept them as such and continue on in our life we can rest assured — we haven’t sinned and haven’t done anyone a disservice.
If we take that emotion and dwell on it and invest ourselves into it, and allow it to dictate us, then we are obsessing in an emotion and allowing it to ferment into infatuation and that certainly is, in the very least, a disservice to ourselves. It’s also taking advantage of someone at the expense of our fleshly satisfaction. Doesn’t really sound like love. It can’t be. It’s the opposite of love, because love seeks not her own. Enjoying someone purely for our fulfillment is selfishness. Which is a sin.
What we do with these feelings is imperative.
If we truly love this man we will be so concerned for his best, his purity, and God’s will for him, it will trump our emotions.
If we “love him not”, we will unregrettably choose to revel in these emotions and satisfy our lusts at his expense.
The question of whether these emotions are okay or not really shouldn’t haunt us. We should be more concerned of whether we “love him, or love him not”.
“So, God, here I am. Here’s my heart. Here’s the emotions and feelings. Here’s my love. So baby and immature. Temptation shows me who I am. And I’m a selfish human being. But you in your love will not allow it to exceed your strength in me. I am open to the ministry of Jesus. Here I am, open and bare. Be my Love, be my all. You over anyone else. I’m renouncing me and my self, and my infatuation…even when it’s just a tiny root and bud. No, I won’t accept it. It’s wrong. But I am not condemned in the fact when I notice. I’m not even afraid to smile at the fact. But there I stop. I give it to you. I refuse to pamper the thrill it gives me. I lay it down to rest. You do what you will.”